I have lived my entire life in a community where being Hispanic is actually considered the majority.
Being raised in Miami, which is predominantly composed of various ethnicities and cultures, means that I have never felt as if I were truly a minority, but in some respects, I feel completely torn. Torn between my identity as Hispanic and my identity as a white, middle class privileged American.
A lot of times the term “white privilege” is tossed around, and unfortunately I find myself in a grey area. My light skin and features could be associated with being “white,” although some people may argue differently.
I find myself smack dab in an identity crisis. Am I too Hispanic to be white, but not Hispanic enough to call myself a minority?
I am so unbelievably blessed to live in an environment where my ethnicity is never an issue, and I never have to worry about being discriminated against. But does my security in my ethnicity only stem from living in Miami? I feel like a fraud in some respects, as I will never be able to equate my pain to the pain those who have experienced discrimination and prejudice have felt.
I also find it hard to identify as one or the other, as I cannot fully relate to either being fully white or fully Hispanic. Does the fact that I speak broken Spanish make me any less Hispanic? I love my rich cultural background, but I cannot ignore the fact that being white-passing also affords me something that many people do not have the luxury of attaining: white privilege.
I am often given, albeit unfairly, many more opportunities and even given the benefit of the doubt more than my darker Hispanic peers. We live in a world where the common rhetoric surrounding Hispanics makes you a “rapist” or a “drug lord.” So, it’s not uncommon to find myself in a precarious position.
I’m struggling to find what my ethnicity and background mean to me, and although it can be messy and complicated, it is necessary. It’s necessary to have a conversation about what it means to be considered a minority and still benefit from white privilege.
Although I am still learning what the term “minority” means to me, and its relation to my identity, there is a steep learning curve, and I am nowhere near done. I am at a crossroad in my life, and even though I am unsure as to what being a “white Hispanic” entails, I know that I am evolving and growing as a person in each respect.
