\u201cDo you mean Tall?\u201d the female Starbucks cashier asks me on a Monday morning before school when I order a small coffee.<\/p>\n
This is where it begins for those of us who don\u2019t frequent Starbucks.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have Tall, Grande, and Venti,\u201d she continues. I take a breath and point like a Neanderthal at the smallest cup and grunt,\u00a0 \u201ccoffee.\u201d<\/p>\n
She forges my signature with a sharpie on the cup and I trade her two dollars for it. I turn around to exit and take a swig out of the cup.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy god!\u201d I express.\u00a0 There was no cream or sugar in the coffee. The cashier assumed I liked black, harsh-tasting coffee, since I\u2019m one of the ignorant, Marlboro Red-smoking cave people that still uses the ancient word: small.<\/p>\n
I turn around and return to the counter to ask for some sweetener, but she has returned to her iPad. \u201cExcuse me,\u201d I say loudly, soon realizing that my voice is no match for her iPod.<\/p>\n
I try to use telepathy, but without an iPhone, I look like a complete lunatic\u2014 and all before my Monday morning coffee.<\/p>\n
I approach from the other side of the counter and knock on the glass startling her enough to make her look away from the iPad.<\/p>\n
I ask for the sugar and she points toward the cream and sugar bar and asks:\u00a0 \u201cWould you like some whip cream?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhip cream!?\u201d<\/p>\n
I turn toward the sweetener and walk away.<\/p>\n
It was now an appropriate time to question if this young lady knew what coffee was. Had she ever noticed people drinking a boring, dark, hot beverage without a straw or M&Ms? Had she ever served a cup of coffee without drawing her future tattoo on the side?<\/p>\n
I exited quietly, never to come back or find out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cDo you mean Tall?\u201d the female Starbucks cashier asks me on a Monday morning before school when I order a small coffee. This is where it begins for those of us who don\u2019t frequent Starbucks. \u201cWe have Tall, Grande, and Venti,\u201d she continues. I take a breath and point like a Neanderthal at the smallest […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":145,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-7473","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-forum"},"yoast_head":"\n