How Femininity In Men Is Perceived
In an interview with Fresh Air’s Terry Gross, actress Meryl Streep shared that it wasn’t until she played a tough and cold hearted boss in The Devil Wears Prada that she ever had a man tell her he empathized and related to one of her characters.
Streep has played a plentiful selection of characters from Sophie Zawistowski in Sophie’s Choice to Julia Child in Julie & Julia, and it would be difficult to find a woman who doesn’t relate or look up to at least one of her characters. Mostly because women are allowed the luxury of being a hyper-feminine damsel in distress, a tomboy, a femme fatale or anything in between or not.
Men, on the other hand, are shamed into a small mindset that only allows them to be dominant, tough-skinned and heroic to achieve masculinity. They may admire women if they share the same traits, but if women portray opposite traits such as being submissive and gentle, men must look at them as someone they desire to have.
There are men, who are not interested in masculine characteristics, who have escaped this small mindset and explored their feminine side. They admire women like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, understand the Spice Girl’s stance on “girl power,” and appreciated photographer Petra Collins’ girly aesthetic and portrayal of girlhood.
Women have fought to reclaim feminine behaviors and ideas such as the housewife, makeup, and the color pink can be powerful symbols for themselves, but men face a different challenge before they can embrace being feminine. They must overcome the fear of being “girly” in a gender that is known for throwing around terms such as “real man” and “boys don’t cry.”
Gay communities even have their own, more obvious phrases to show their preference of masculinity like “masc4masc.” Fortunately, there are men who exist today who are able to explore and show the power of male femininity. Author Diriye Osman wore a dress on the cover of his book Fairy Tales for Lost Children—a short story collection narrated by gay Somalis as they learn about their own identities—and shared on VICE’s website that he felt empowered when he wore the dress.
Designer Marc Jacobs, who is also known to have worn dresses, has used the used term “#malepolish” on social media pictures of his own painted fingernails and even created unisex beauty products described as “boy tested, girl approved.”
Another designer, Kenneth Nicholson, creates apparel that not only touches on the subject of gender boundaries, but also expands the limit on the options in men’s clothing with silhouettes consisting of mostly flowing tunics and bell bottoms.
Photographer Tyler Udall challenges the expected modern traits of men in pictures of young men being portrayed as vulnerable and intimate in his project, Auguries of Innocence.
Even though these men exist to show feminine traits in men can be celebrated, it will be a long and complex journey before most men can view femininity as admirable.
