How An Encounter At An MDC Restroom Almost Changed My Life

Growing up in a big Hispanic family made me value the serenity of the time I spend in the restroom. It’s a moment where I can be at peace and think about everything and anything.

However, I’ve been robbed of that tranquility on more than four occasions in two different restrooms at Miami Dade College.

The Colleges’ restrooms have sensors that detect movement to keep the lights on and preserve energy. I’m all for saving the Earth but the only problem is when I’m happily sitting on the toilet to fulfill my human necessities, I’m not moving. 

That means the sensors don’t detect my presence, causing the lights to turn off and my heart to have more action than a pinball machine. 

I was frightened during the first three incidents, but the fourth incident was worse than being forced to listen to Addison Rae sing. It caused my heart to beat so rapidly, I felt it jump out of my chest.

Luckily, I had my flashlight⁠—cause who doesn’t lug around a spare flashlight—and I turned it on to navigate through the abyss. My misery was far from over.

As I attempted to exit the stall, the toilet automatically flushed and made a LOUD noise that made me jump, shake and resort to the fetal position. 

For two minutes I wondered what might be waiting for me outside the stall. Was it someone I had cut off in traffic? Or worse, maybe a rival who coveted my position as forum editor of The Reporter. 

I knew it. They were finally on to me and the luxurious lifestyle I had built for myself by editing bad copy in solitude at 2 a.m. on Sunday nights. Here I was sitting on my throne waiting to get my crown snatched.

But I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I was armed with my trusted flashlight and a perfume bottle of Bombshell Passion from Victoria’s Secret. I was determined to defend my crown.

Fortunately, for whoever was after me that day, they retreated and I heroically survived. Despite my valiant stand, I am now scarred for life. Never again will I enter a restroom that has sensor motion lights. Miami Dade College you can do better.