Humility Is The Key To Self-Love
For a prolonged period of my life, there was nothing I loathed more than making a mistake.
It could have been a mistake in anything. Whether it was school, my personal life or even a video game, I always boiled in frustration.
My time in middle school was deeply troublesome. Due to the volatile effects of puberty, a dysfunctional household, poor friendship choices and my own immaturity, I was someone who I would consider “toxic” today.
In seventh grade, my toxicity peaked. For three months, I teased one of my friends due to the pungent odor of his lunchbox. The teasing eventually evolved to bullying as me and my friends made it a habit to belittle him.
It wasn’t until he cried one time that I stopped to think about what I was doing. I felt a great deal of shame when I realized that my actions were bringing sadness to someone else.
I immediately stopped teasing him and apologized. My friend forgave me for my mistake.
Despite his forgiveness, I found it hard to move on from the incident. I felt like I should have received a punishment to “balance” things out. Additionally, I grew increasingly frustrated at the fact that I had bullied someone.
At one point I realized that my perfectionism was affecting how I perceived myself. Instead of forgiving myself for making a mistake, I fixated on it and used it as ammunition to see myself as unworthy and incapable of change.
Eventually, I figured out that my perfectionism stemmed from a sense of pride rooted in insecurity and a lack of self-love. The only reason I wanted to be perfect was to see value in myself.
But now I understand that humility does not mean you underestimate or undervalue your worth or potential. Rather, it means acknowledging that you are human and that we always have something to improve upon. Embracing this gives you the patience and encouragement to develop into a better person.
Instead of staining your view of yourself based on a mistake, you will instead see failures as lessons. You will also develop a broader sense of compassion not only for yourself but for others as well.
Six years after the incident with my friend, I can now acknowledge my mistake and what factors caused it. Acknowledging my shortcomings and forgiving myself is what enabled me to ensure I now spread positivity instead of negativity.
The moment we embrace self-compassion through humility is the moment we take accountability, forgive ourselves and continue progressing to become better people.
