Going Outside? Don’t Forget To Apply Sunscreen

Following months of enjoyable weather, the scorching summer has finally arrived.

For locals and tourists, it’s time to go to the beach to show off that summer body or in my case—lack thereof. 

My friends hopped on the beach hype. Recently, they suggested we hangout at Crandon Park. As someone who enjoys spending his spare time in the darkness like Dracula, it took some convincing to get me to spend time in the sun.

I brought an umbrella and SPF 100 sunscreen to protect myself from the sun’s evil rays. Before leaving home, I lathered my face, legs and arms with it.

My pale skin—reminiscent of the background of the Google Docs I’m typing this on—has been previously assaulted several times by the sun.

The last sunburn I had was so irritating that I had to practically sleep in a tub filled with water to get relief. Another sunburn during my early childhood gave me blisters that required medical care.

I also remember the time in Colombia when my grandpa popped one of my sunburn blisters by slamming the door of his green pick-up truck on my arm by accident.

It’s clear that I have a toxic relationship with the sun.

When I arrived at Crandon Park during my most recent visit, the heat turned my non-air conditioned car into a microwave on wheels. Thankfully, the beach’s breeze was waiting for me.

After setting up an elaborate protective cocoon, I took off my shirt and ventured into the water.

In my excitement, I hastily applied my friend’s SPF 50 sunscreen thinking I would only spend a few minutes in the water. However, I stayed in the water for two hours, which coincidentally was the time span that the sun’s UV rays peaked.

Surely the sunscreen worked, right?

Wrong.

Minutes after entering the water, my friends pointed out how red I was. I was in denial until I started feeling a sharp burning sensation on my shoulders while I ate pizza.

When I got home, my back and shoulders looked like a freshly cooked lobster. I looked delicious, but felt anything but that. I quickly buttered myself up with aloe vera cream to salvage the little non-fried skin I had.

When I went to sleep, I mummified since any movement irritated my skin.

Throughout the next few days, I went back to the darkness of my room, reapplying cream every 12 hours and drinking water like a camel refueling before a long trip. I avoided the sun as much as possible while remaining shirtless so I wouldn’t irritate my skin.

It took me five days to get back into action. Despite that precaution, parts of my shoulders are still peeling like an onion.

Don’t be like me. Please use sunscreen effectively by using the proper SPF rating and reapplying often.

It’s better to have a mime’s face for a few hours than to spend a week irritated and increase your chances of developing skin cancer.

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