Learning To Embrace My Curly Hair

As a child, my mom used to call me Shirley Temple because ringlets sprang out of my scalp like the famous child actor.

My hair was so curly, people would ask my mom if it was real. I got compliments about my curls all the time.

But when I entered middle school I started to hate curly hair and I straightened it to look like the celebrities I saw on TV.

Whenever I saw a girl with straight hair I’d immediately find myself wishing for it and telling her: “you’re so lucky you have straight hair!”

I brushed my curls out as much as I could and style it in ways only people with straight hair would. I wore an excessive amount of gel but even that couldn’t control the frizz.

When my freshman year of high school rolled around I discovered that I could straighten my hair by using a flat iron.

I’d wake up two hours before school everyday to straighten my hair, even if I had to blow dry it first.

My close friends would ask me why I didn’t embrace it, but I’d simply shrug my shoulders and say that I didn’t like the curls.

Those who met me during my freshman year of high school didn’t know my hair was naturally curly and only found out when I grew tired of waking up everyday at 5 a.m. to straighten it.

It was at the end of my freshman year when I decided to let my hair air dry and kept the curls.

However, that determination didn’t last long. I discovered that after having straightened my hair for so long it was frizzy with no curl pattern and full of split ends. Soon, I started braiding my hair every night into two Dutch braids to hide the damage.

I’d wake up with beautiful waves and receive compliments for them but I knew they weren’t natural so I never took the compliments seriously. 

After graduating high school in 2020, I spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos featuring girls who talked about their curly hair journey and how they got their beautiful curls back.

I was determined to get mine back even if it took me years. So I finally cut my long damaged hair and I started using only curly hair products. 

My curls slowly started forming again. Now I regularly cut my hair every season, do weekly deep conditioning treatments, brush my hair in the shower with a Denman brush, wash it only once or twice weekly, style it with lightweight gel and diffuse it.

I also continue to educate myself about the best ways to treat curly hair and follow people on social media that encourage me to embrace it.

While my hair doesn’t have the curl pattern I want it to have yet, it’s all part of the curly hair journey. I can proudly say I love my hair—even when it looks like a fluffy cloud.

If you’re having a hard time learning to love your hair, be patient. You’ll get there and you’ll come to love your natural hair while feeling empowered.

Learn to be happy about the process. Understand that your curls WILL turn poofy after spending a day out in the South Florida humidity and laugh when it gets stuck between someone’s fingers. 

It makes life more fun. Embrace every moment of it.