Stop Dating Apps From Determining Dating Culture

It’s often said that it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but does the same phrase ring true for hookups? Is it better to hook up and ghost someone than to never hook up at all?

For centuries, the standard form of relationships was etiquette-bound courtship before eventually being replaced by less formal dating and movies—like Grease—fueled the idolization of diner dates and drive-in movies. 

But that dating culture seems to be a thing of the distant past.

What has replaced it?

Popular apps like Hinge, Tinder and Bumble have been revolutionizing the dating world by providing people with countless potential matches in the palm of their hand. So why would people only settle to be with one person? 

Last November I went on a spree of dates with guys I met through Tinder and although it was a tough and confusing road, I learned a lot.

When connecting with people on dating apps, you will get ghosted, even if the time you spent together with someone was extremely fun. So, don’t take it personal. 

You will also get ‘breadcrumbed.’ Some people will say things to keep you interested while knowing that the conversation won’t bloom into a relationship. That’s fine but do not sacrifice what you want just because you think you can make them change their mind. 

Expect to receive an array of strange messages in the apps. Once a guy even asked me if he could try on my curly hair. 

It’s important to be cautious when dating online because you never know if someone is who they claim to be. Instead of willingly showing up to the agreed-upon location, try FaceTiming the person beforehand to have an idea of what you’re getting yourself into. 

When I decided to take time off of dating apps, I started to wonder why I had been ghosted and led on. A LendEdu study surveyed 3,800 people and four percent said they use Tinder to look for relationships, 22 percent want to hook up and the other 44 percent said they use it to boost their confidence. 

Matching frequently with randoms can build self-confidence, but it can also tear it down. You may find yourself disappointed and sad if a stranger doesn’t get in touch with you. 

Dating apps make us connect our self-worth to the opinions of people we will never know.

Do I regret my time on these apps? Absolutely not, I now approach them differently and understand how to game the system. 

Although I believe dating apps are ruining dating culture, if we stick to our guns and put the proper boundaries in place, I’m hopeful we can change that.