The Effects Of Not Having A Father Around
If I could think of one benefit of being raised by a single mother, it’s that when I ask for permission to do something, I didn’t have to go through a father in order for my mom to make the final decision.
But there are more downsides to not having a father around. For example, when my mom and I clash and involve ourselves in an argument, I can’t turn to my dad to defend me or at least console me. A lot of times when this happens, I’ll run straight to my room and cry until I fall asleep. However, there are other factors that play into the whole “single mother” issue when I reflect on my social life, personal life, and even my psychology, but not just for me, but also for all the kids across the world.
I took an afternoon to interview my friend, Marielle Guzman from Coral Reef Senior High, to see if her experiences related to mine in any way. Just like me, Guzman and her sister, Sandra, were raised by a single mother since birth. They have never spoken to their father. She explained her mother’s story, leading to the reason why they don’t keep in touch with their father. Her demeanor seemed collected and mature, which in my opinion, had to be a product of her mother.
“When I was younger, I wished I had a dad to carry me when I was sad, or play catch with me when I felt like playing,” Guzman said. “But now I wish I had a dad to take care of my mom.”
As we grow older, we come to understand that not having a male figure in our lives is not only hard for us, but also for our mothers. Guzman also talked about how she viewed men in general and other male figures in her life.
“I feel uncomfortable around older men sometimes, I’m not sure why. But that doesn’t mean I have a negative attitude towards them. My uncle and grandfather have both been kind of that father figure ever since I can remember, and I love them for that. It helps me to realize that there are guys out there who can commit,” Guzman said.
She ended her thoughts on a positive note by acknowledging her boyfriend, who happens to be my brother.
According to research done by Dr. Gabriella Goddi at McGill University in Canada, studies show that children who were raised without a father have an increased risk of deviant behavior, and girls have been shown to be at risk for substance abuse. She emphasizes on the importance of a father during critical neurodevelopmental periods, and adds that, “father absence induces impairments in social behaviour that persist to adulthood.”
Unlike Guzman and I, who have been fortunate to not experience those circumstances, many children are confused and are suffering day by day, causing unfavorable consequences in their personal and social lives.
