We’ve all heard the phrase “be a man.” It insinuates that men shouldn’t show weakness or overwhelming emotions when dealing with difficult circumstances.
It makes masculinity toxic.
But masculinity alone isn’t toxic. It pushes men to take control of their lives with assertiveness and leadership.
It’s the radical extreme where no weakness can be shown that makes it toxic.
Toxic masculinity is defined as a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men.
When men wish to fit into this unrealistic and flawed image of what a man is, they are likely to suppress their emotions and hide under a tough shell that hides their vulnerability. At times, this may come at a very high price.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men commit suicide 3.2 times more than women do.
When men decide to hide their vulnerability, they are simultaneously isolating themselves from the rest of the world. That is a major risk because it creates a situation where the individual feels alone and not understood.
In the past, I have preferred to self-isolate rather than show vulnerability. Those decisions made me lose opportunities to get help and develop meaningful relationships. After realizing how detrimental this behavior is, I decided to be more transparent.
Initially, this process was tremendously difficult. I had a great deal of anxiety and shame because I thought I was overexposing myself. I thought that by reaching out to others I was exposing my inability to handle things on my own.
However, I eventually felt a great sense of relief and accomplishment. For the first time, I felt like I was heard and understood by others.
I learned the strength and value that vulnerability creates. Not only does it relieve stress, but it allows for the creation of meaningful relationships that provide a genuine sense of fulfillment.
Men need to realize how important it is to acknowledge our emotions in a healthy way. While we don’t need to overshare what happens to us, it is critical to have a well-established support network to ensure we feel heard and understood when we are at our lowest points.
We must also allow ourselves to express our emotions when necessary. Things like crying are never a sign of weakness. They are an indicator of the humanity we all share regardless of gender.
Talking about our emotions does not lessen our sense of manhood. Instead, it alludes to a greater sense of self-confidence that comes when we decide to show the full scope of who we are.
